Song: Torn by David Armand & Natalie Imbruglia
After suffering for the last 3 years, with things gradually getting worse, I may finally have an answer. The new specialist I’m seeing (who is fantastic btw), thinks strongly that what I’m dealing with is Adenomyosis, which is in the Endo family. In a nutshell, the endo tissue builds up within the walls of my uterus, instead of attaching the scar tissue pretty much everywhere else outside of my uterus.
From the way I’m seeing it, this is probably the best possible outcome that could be the case. For once in my life, my symptoms are almost textbook when I did my research. That in itself brought tears to my eyes. I’ve been called an enigma, told that the pain was in my head, and simply that they had no answers for me. None of which put me in a place where I had any solutions or options, only more suffering in my future.
The only cure for Adeno is a hysterectomy, but I can keep my ovaries. I do not have any sadness or attachment to my uterus, only gratitude for the four blessings of my children that it gave to me before it could no longer function anymore. In fact, I’m seriously considering a bon voyage uterus party in its honor. This isn’t set in stone yet, but my friends would undoubtedly support the idea.
So now, I’m waiting on a surgery date which feels strongly like the day that I’ll start to get my life back.
It seems that when you have an unusual disease, you have unusual things that happen because of it. Logical, I suppose. However, I still find myself caught off guard by the odd things that I’ve yet to see other women discuss in the multiple forums I follow.
One of the odd things happened this evening, and it’s a new one for me. I was laying in my bed enjoying the comfort of my heating blanket and my squishy pillows. I simply started to sit up a bit to adjust said pillows, and it felt like something literally snapped in my lower abdomen. Or to describe it better, like I had bent my uterus in half and it cracked. My first thought after “Ow, what the hell” was….”Oh my God, I think I broke it.”
I’ve been unable to sit up or move for the rest of this evening without feeling the nasty sharp feeling of a broken thing inside. My adult brain knows that I did not, in fact, break my uterus. My pain receptors are making it quite difficult to get on the same page.
This surgery cannot get here fast enough.
~ Heather D.